Posted 3:41 PM by Floyd

Sometimes you just have to admire the sheer idiocy of spam. Take this email I got this morning:

Greetings!


New amazing anti-aging water. Nothing ever came close to like this water has been offered before. It contains all 34 mineral wave forms in their correct non-metallic states as needed by the body to repair and sustain itself.

One of my prized possessions is a 1959 Handbook of Chemistry and Physics, won by my father as a prize. It has his name (and mine) stamped on the cover.

Let's see, 34 mineral wave forms ... Table of the Isotopes ... Physical Constants of Inorganic Compounds ... Physical Constants of Organic Compounds ... Composition of Physical Properties of Alloys. Nothing about the 34 mineral wave forms. Scientific progress is remarkable.

It's a miracle water and has produced miracle
results. This will be huge. Prelaunch starting next week.

Let's not turn this into an internet startup, please. You still have some credibility.

Non-flushing binary comp plan up front. Unilevel plan on autoships.

How silly of me not to have kept up with MLM spam lingo.

Limited Founder positions still available.

As a Founder, you will be grandfathered into mid-level position
in unilevel and placed 2 personal signups underneath you to
qualify you for binary commissions.

What is this "limited founder" stuff? Can I still be a founder of Oracle?