Posted 7:52 PM by Floyd

I have time for one more rock thrown in the Merc's window before dinner. Orr is a smirking twerp, and Kirk is merely an addled byproduct of the 60's. Neither comes close to the level of poisonous self-regard evidenced by one "Arab-Jewish Dialogue Group of Santa Clara County":

Declaration on Mideast peace by Arab-Jewish Dialogue Group of Santa Clara County

June 25, 2003

I can't believe I have to wait until 2078 before this work is in the public domain.

Committed as we are to a peaceful settlement to the Israeli Palestinian conflict and in recognition of the national aspirations of both communities, we, members of the Arab-Jewish Dialogue Group in Santa Clara County, California, would like to issue the following statements regarding the Israeli-Palestinian conflict:

We call upon:

1. Israel to immediately declare its intent to withdraw, in a period not to exceed 2 years, from the West Bank and the Gaza Strip areas, to approximately its 1967 borders. Upon cessation of the violence by both sides, Israel shall withdraw to the pre-September 2000 positions and freeze activities on all new settlements and all expansions on existing settlements, including ``natural growth'' expansions.

1a. Everyone to notice how concerned we are. We're furrowing our brows with seriousness!

2. The Palestinian leadership and public, and the Israeli government and public to stop all acts of violence against any and all people and property, and to stop all actions that may hinder the ability of all people to continue their everyday lives in peace.

2a. The Israeli and Palestinian governments to cease all activity and take orders from a bunch of people 7,000 miles away who don't have to deal with the consequences of any decisions that Isreal and Palestine made in the past or will make in the future.

3. An international ``Peacekeeping Force,'' acceptable to both parties, to be put into place to help prevent violence and to help all residents to live in peace. Both Israel and Palestine shall actively cooperate with this ``Peacekeeping Force'' that will mediate local disputes. At a mutually agreed time, these activities will transition to local policing authorities.

3a. Remark on how much thought we gave this issue. A ``Peacekeeping Force'' is what will bring peace to the Middle East, and you know why it will work? Because we put two single backquotes at the start of our quotations, and two single forward quotes at the end.

They aren't done -- there's still Impractical Demand 4, then "We Support" followed by seven (!) statements. (For instance: "Jerusalem is the Holy City for three faiths and is important historically, nationally, and culturally for the Israelis and Palestinians. It can and should be the City of Peace." When you put it like that it's just so clear!) But I'm sure you've had enough, unless you need an emetic.

Better cover your mouth though: The "Declaration" of self-regard was augmented with another article in the Merc in which Frank Cohen of the Dialogue Group congratulates himself and his pals on how difficult it was for them to get their names in the paper. I quote:

Both Jewish and Arab participants have stuck their necks out in their respective communities...

A recent issue of The Atlantic had a cover photo of an Israeli who had stuck his own neck out. In Israel "sticking your neck out" means going outside; this Israeli did so, and was in the vicinity of a suicide bombing. The Atlantic cover was not, strictly speaking, a photo; it was an X-ray, and it showed where nails had embedded themselves in this individual's head.

Were any members of the "Dialogue Group" at risk of getting filled up with high-velocity metal fragments? Go fuck yourself, Frank.