Posted 10:59 PM by Floyd

So the Supreme Court ruled that the University of Michigan's law school can discriminate against white people as long as they don't quantify the exact amount of this discrimination. (Oh, and don't think they'll get away with it in 2028!) This is rather ... interesting ... given the usual handling of accusations of discrimination in our court system. One can imagine the following cross-examination of XYZ Corp by an attorney representing employees who claim -- on no evidence but actuarial data -- to have been discriminated against:

Q: Please state your name and occupation.

A: I am Charles Happyman, head of Human Resources for XYZ Corp.

Q: And please tell the court how you handled the charges of discrimination when made aware of them by our plaintiffs.

A: In each case the managers accused of discrimination were thoroughly investigated. We interviewed their employees and reviewed their past history.

Q: Did you read their minds to see if they were racists?

A: No, excuse me?

Q: Did you read their minds to see if they were racists?

A: No.

Q: Why not?

A: Because -- because mind-reading machines haven't been invented?

Q: Did XYZ Corp attempt to invent a mind-reading machine?

After which the jury would convene for an hour and award the plaintiffs thirty billion dollars.