Posted 10:00 PM by Floyd

A few months I mentioned that I liked to read Michael Kelly on Wednesdays. Not any longer, as he was killed covering the Iraq war. I do have a new treat on Wednesday's though: Ray answers Achewood reader email every Wednesday. Onstad really seems to get a kick out of this feature, as it is always published on time.

Friday I was rereading Ray's Place, and got to the letter which Ray answered "Dear Eyeball Eating Person." People say "now there's coffee all over my keyboard" when they read something funny, but have you ever really spewed liquid from laughing. I did, and I had read it before!

I may have to dispense my own advice. Here's the debut edition of Floyd's Place:

We're not hitting well, and we're losing a lot of games. Do you have any advice?

A Baseball Team, Oakland


Dear Team,

I have seen some of your games and am ready to do a makeover. Every week I'll give you some advice. This week we'll work on patience. I see a lot of people swinging at the first pitch. I am ready to completely slap them on their faces and the sides of their heads/ears. I will slap them.

So when you see that first pitch coming, think of it as a bridge hand. Is it a hand so good that you wish you were playing a strong club system with a Kokish Relay and lots of artificial bids? If not, lay off.

I definitely helped you with this advice!