Posted 10:21 PM by Floyd

I have criticized Steven Den Beste for posting extremely long and unfocussed essays. (One from last week was Den Beste's noodlings on atheism; I knew within two sentences that I had to eject. Had I not done so, I would still be reading it.)

Another of Den Beste's faults is his naivete. Den Beste starts a perfectly reasonable post on Apple's woes with this statement:

But Steve Jobs' first duty is to Apple's stockholders. That's not just an opinion; it's a matter of law. Jobs' job is to increase stockholder equity. In many cases the interests of stockholders and customers are congruent, for the obvious reason that you can't have a successful business without lots of customers, but there are many ways in which they run counter and in such cases Jobs has an obligation to put stockholder interest first. If he does not, the stockholders can sue him, and I mean sue him personally for his own personal wealth.

I figured, whatever, Den Beste is just clearing his throat. But later on he reiterated his belief that Jobs will soon be listening to music on a Walkman because the repo man took his iPod:

It ain't a great solution, but it's better than resigned acceptance of commercial death, which in any case might lead to lawsuits against Jobs personally.

Maybe there is some law that says that Jobs can be sued personally for poor performance as CEO. But here on Planet Earth, I have never heard of such a thing happening. There is a very good reason why such lawsuits are rare: it would be impossible to prove whether the CEO's strategy caused the company's decline.

Posted 10:03 PM by Floyd

Have you heard that the 2003 Women's Cup has been pulled from China? I heard this news on the radio early last week, but it escaped the blogs and many web news sources. (There was an article in the Merc, I think on Thursday.) This is a huge blow to the Chinese government's self-esteem, and probably to the feelings of the average Chinese citizen. When I was in Beijing last fall lots of people were wearing "Beijing 2008" Olympic caps.

Posted 9:56 PM by Floyd

The good news is that the Mercury News has given up trying to alter our opinions by means of their insipid, mealymouthed, have-your-cake-eat-it-too recitations of received liberal piety. The bad news is that they are going after our kids:

Kids: Talk trash to your parents
Mercury News Editorial

OK kids, here's a question you won't find on the STAR tests:

How many candy wrappers, styrofoam cups, cigarette butts, cardboard boxes, apple cores, and old running shoes does it take to build a mountain?

Answer: About as many as you can find littering Bay Area roads.

To prove this point, the folks at Caltrans have been building a litter mountain next to Highway 101 to remind all of us not to trash the freeways. They're hoping folks like, ahem, your parents will get the message.

But adults can be oblivious sometimes, as every kid knows. Who has to remind them to wear their seat belts? Who has to scold them for using bad language when they're stuck in rush-hour traffic?

So go ahead, be the litter police. Set a good example by keeping those candy wrappers in your pockets where they belong. Remind anyone you see littering that little pieces of junk can add up to a mountain of mess.

On second thought, avoid the word ``mess.'' It might remind them of your room. Don't go there.

Posted 1:29 PM by Floyd

Sorry to be so lazy with my blog. (Free Shanghainese lesson: "lei-mo" means "lazy cat", and is used to deride a lazy person. It's what I say to my wife when she sleeps in till noon.) After eight months of unemployment it is difficult to get used to having a full-time job; I feel like I never have enough time.

Also I've fallen off the wagon. I bought SimCity 4 two months ago. I played a lot of SimCity 2 in 1997 and 1998, and upgraded to SimCity 3 in 1999 and enjoyed it even more. SimCity 4 has very cool graphics, and the controls and reporting are well done.

But the game leaves me cold. The problem is that it's too realistic; your city just sits there, slowly growing. Also everything is tinged dark green, so it's not visually interesting. I would play for an hour or so, reading a book while waiting for something to happen. At some point I said, "Why am I sitting here reading a book?" I have not played since.

So I've gone back to Civilization III. I followed a friend's suggestion and played "Pangea" games, where the world is one big continent. This is more challenging because it puts you in contact with all your hostile neighbors at once. In my current game I am playing the Greeks on Level 4. I have been at war with the French and the Germans, which should make all you Old Europe bashers happy.

Posted 10:47 PM by Floyd

Lawyers are elected to office to create laws, they are elected and appointed to judicial positions to interpret laws, and they appear in front of juries who make judgements based on laws. Some lawyers make obscene amounts of money suing people or industries, and use this cash to get themselves elected to high office. Lawyers also lobby government on their behalf in various collective and individual ways -- for instance the American Bar Association attempts to wield veto power over judicial nominations.

None of this is enough of an advantage, I suppose, so some law offices are funnelling money to John Edwards' presidential campaign by proxy. "The Hill" newspaper investigated Edwards' campaign funds and found that employees at law firms would each donate the $2,000 maximum to Edwards -- all on the same day. Some of the employees were not making much money, and The Hill even found one donor who had declared bankruptcy!

What will happen to Edwards as a result of this? Nothing. At worst he will receive a slap on the wrist. And that is why I am unalterably opposed to campaign finance "reform" laws, even if you ignore the issue of the First Amendment. The big sharks can do what they want, while real grassroots organizations get screwed.

Here's an example of the latter: California State Senator David Roberti earned the ire of gun owners when he co-sponsored an assault weapons ban ten years ago. So they targeted him for a recall. Whatever you may think of the merits of the recall group, Californians Against Corruption, they were clearly grassroots -- just a bunch off pissed-off gunowners tilting at windmills.

CAC unseated Roberti -- and were then investigated by California's campaign finance cops. There was no real evidence of wrongdoing, but CAC had not fully complied with the onerous recordkeeping mandated by campaign finance "reform".

CAC's punishment for unseating a powerful senator was a fine of $800,000 dollars. I guess this kind of thing makes John McCain sleep better at night; I'm not sure why.

(The whole sordid affair is explained in this excellent Reason article.)

Posted 10:04 PM by Floyd

Instantman quoted a pro-Klan letter that the Washington Times used to smear Senator Robert Byrd (D-KKK). Because it was so nasty and spiteful, and because the words "Washington Times" probably make millions of people break out in hives, I repeat it here entirely:

Rather I should die a thousand times, and see old Glory in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours be degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds.

I did hear a news clip this morning in which Byrd criticized Bush for taking a joyride on a military plane. And I swore at my radio and changed the channel. But tonight I got to thinking about why Byrd is so despicable. It's not this latest issue; I agree with Byrd more than not. It's not Byrd's party or his politics. It's not even that Byrd was a Grand Kleagle or whatever sixty years ago; if I live for another 50 years I expect to accumulate some baggage.

What is distasteful about Byrd is that he manages to combine all the worst traits of a US Senator: Vanity, insincere bipartisan guestures, mock gravitas and senility. Whenever Byrd utters something like

I do not begrudge his salute to America's warriors aboard the carrier Lincoln, for they have performed bravely. But I do question the motives of a desk-bound president who assumes the garb of a warrior for the purposes of a speech.

I get the impression that he looks around him imperiously as he speaks these words, trying to catch a glimpse of an awestruck historian recording his words for future generations.

Posted 10:36 AM by Floyd

I am not a Microsoft basher, and when I see people froth that Gates and Microsoft are the fount of all evil, I roll my eyes in exasperation. But I have whined about specific Microsoft stupidities in this blog before. I was about to write another whiny post when I realized that I sounded like Achewood's little otter, Philippe. I have no artistic talent so my fan art will have to be a fan script:

Philippe: Oh darn! I'm really upset!

Ray: What's the matter, Philippe?

Philippe: I can't get these Microsoft tools to work together. I copy text from Word to Outlook and I can't change the font!

Lyle: Hah! Serves you right for using that crap! Everyone knows Microsoft sucks.

Philippe: But my email doesn't look right and I'm sending it to Antique Roadshow!

Roastbeef: Word and Outlook do not work together well that is just not right.

Posted 10:23 AM by Floyd

More Cinco de Mayo French-bashing, this time from Chevy's. Last night while driving home I heard a Chevy's commercial that contrasted Chevy's cuisine with hoity-toity French food. Then the announcer said "Fortunately on Cinco de Mayo, the Mexicans kicked French butt, so you can enjoy the great food at Chevy's."

This makes me wonder: There's been a lot of guilt tripping by bloggers and columnists about how the French sent us this general in 1777 and that statue in 1886, so we should lay off the French-bashing. Well the French haven't done squat for Mexico, except to invade their country in 1862 and install a puppet emperor. Do any of these Francophiles think that Mexico's policy towards France in 2003 should be any different from America's because of that history?

Posted 2:29 PM by Floyd

You know how sometimes something is funny and you smirk. It's not really funny. Or something is funny and you go "ha ha". Not funny either.

But sometimes something is so funny it makes your eyes bulge out. Then you start laughing so hard your gut clenches, and you bend over. Laughing like that can get you fired. You and your co-workers make little jokes, but nobody is gut-scrunching funny. If they were, you wouldn't get paid so much to sit next to them.

That goddam Onstad is going to get me fired. I'll quote some of Little Nephew's anti-algebra rap so I can get you fired too:

Don't be all like X is 5
If 5 is what you mean
If 5 is on what is on your mind
Then baby just come clean

Posted 8:55 PM by Floyd

Huzzah! My youngest sister Meredith is engaged. Her fiance is a longtime boyfriend, and a swell guy. I hope to attend the wedding this June in Scranton, PA.

Posted 8:53 PM by Floyd

A letter I sent to the San Jose Mercury News:

The San Jose Mercury News editorial board said in a Sunday editorial that it would be unfair to make high school students take the state's 2004 exit exam if they might not be adequately prepared for it.

I am nearsighted, and last week had my vision measured so I could get a new prescription for my contact lenses. What if my optometrist had decided that it was unfair that some people had perfect eyesight and others did not, and told me that I had 20/20 vision? Would this be fair to me? Would it be fair to the people who drive on the same road as me?

Suppose the Mercury News hired a graduate of Equitable University, whose transcript showed that he had high grades. Suppose that this person did not really deserve his grades; he got them because someone at Equitable decided that the normal exams were unfair for some reason or another. What would his managers and peers at the Mercury News think? Would they say, "We must be mistaken in thinking he is a poor performer; he has good transcripts." Or would they say "Equitable University cannot be trusted; the next time we get a resume from an Equitable graduate, it goes in the garbage."

Posted 6:36 PM by Floyd

There Goes My Hero

When a despicable public figure is caught with his hand in the cookie jar -- or maybe the nookie jar -- the great pleasure is not watching him or her fall. What I find most enjoyable is the tortured agonies of their worshippers.

Consider the late Michael Kelly's greatest columns, I Believe and I Still Believe. They are great because they are exhibitions of merciless and incandescant mocking. They are wonderful because Kelly's motivation in writing them was not indignation but mortification -- he felt his intelligence was unrelentingly insulted. And they are aimed not at Clinton but at his myriad sycophants and apologists, whose rationalizations and excuses became ever more unbelievable and ludicrous as the Lewinsky scandal progressed.

The latest performer on the disgrace circuit is William Bennett. Bennett was education secretary for Reagan, and drug czar for Bush the Elder. In that capacity he was a cheerleader for the immoral and totalitarian idea that people should be incarcerated for the chemicals that they choose to ingest. After his public "service" he became a utility virtue scold. He became a star of the "Empower America" foundation, and wrote some rather strange morality fables (for instance: A girl disobeys her parents and is eaten by lions).

And now we find out that Bennett is a problem gambler. "Problem gambler" is judgemental, but it will be hard to gainsay my judgement when you find out that Bennett has dropped eight million dollars in casinos. Our former drug czar also displayed a common trait of the addicted, that of denial; he claimed that though he spent two hundred grand a year on slot machines, he had lost no money doing so. (Bennett is a Catholic, which makes sense in the light of this revelation; keeping Vegas from its percentage is a task that would require not just the powers of God and Jesus but the mother of God as well.)

So what was the reaction of the Virtue Czar's fans when this news broke? It wasn't pretty. Hie over to Jeff Jarvis' mocking post to see what Bennett's defenders had to say. Here are the juiciest responses.

Define Your Terms

Define "moderation," please.

"Moderation," it seems to me, is a relative term. (Well, I guess by definition it is, as well.)

Are you whacking Bennett for gambling too much? For losing too much? Again, relative to what...?

We are all happy to hear that there are fortunes to be made on virtue as well as vice. But eight million smackers is a lot for anyone. Also, shouldn't frugality and modesty make their ways onto Bennett's resume?

Nothing to See Here! Move Along!

I've got no brief for or against Bennett, but this is pretty thin soup they've brewed.

Eight million lost? Eight million wagered?

Gambling a vice? I don't like it but it seems to me to be a legal activity in the states mentioned.

Naw, Jeff, I'm with you on a lot of things but this is just a big bag of nothing.

It doesn't even rise to hypocrisy.

By the way, isn't prostitution also a legal activity in one of the states mentioned? Should Mike Price, former football coach of Alabama fired for visiting a topless dance club, be reinstated? Can't wait to see what Empower America has to say!

Blessed are the Grouse-Fat, for They Shall Inherit the Comps

This one is my favorite. But have a bucket handy when you read it.

Another analogy (although perhaps, indeed, QUITE a bit more "loose") could be from Matt 26:7-11:

7 a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.
8 When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. "Why this waste?" they asked.
9 "This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor."
10 Aware of this, Jesus said to them, "Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me.
11 The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me.
(NIV)

Some side notes: First, visit Colby Cosh's page for much better writing on l'affaire Bennett than I could possibly achieve. Especially this post, from which I pilfered the insult "grouse-fat." Second, nothing in this post should be viewed as an endorsement of the Foo Fighters, whom I consider lame and useless. I find their habit of remaking their (few) hits in acoustic versions an especially noisome plague upon my radio.