Posted 8:36 PM by Floyd

A few days ago I mocked Citibank for an imbecilic freeway ad. ("Bling-bling, not bling-bling-bling.") Citibank, like Cingular Wireless, assumes that its customers are dolts. However I will say that given this initial assumption, the aforementioned companies behave reasonably and even honorably. That is to say, their advertising is conducted with a minimum of condescension, probably does entertain people who have short attention spans and room-temperature IQ's, and touts products that are worth having.

I issue this caveat because when reading through today's mail I was faced with actual malevolence and contempt for stupid people. The perpetrator was AT&T. I received a postcard

ANNOUNCING

The AT&T Telephone Protection Plan

No one can be completely prepared for the unexpected. But you can stay connected with the AT&T Telephone Protection Plan. Get it today and save yourself time, money, and the inconvenience of dealing with a broken home phone.

So let me get this straight. I can either spend $47.40 a year so that when my phone breaks I call AT&T (how, if I'm not "connected"?), wait to speak to a representative, make an appointment with a four-hour window for a technician to look at my phone, and then spend time and effort filling out reimbursement forms.

Or I can take the $47.40, go to Target, and get another phone.

AT&T must think that "shit for brains" is not an expression, but an actual medical condition.