Posted 10:22 PM by Floyd

So tonight I spent more than an hour finding out who is closing for each major league team. Sometimes this was easy -- I knew that John Smoltz closes for Seattle, for instance -- but I had no idea who was closing for other teams. So I looked through the list of pitchers on ESPN team roster pages. Which leads to this warning: Looking over the bullpen for the Pittsburg Pirates or the Cincinnati Reds is a horrifying, soul-draining experience.

Some of the pitchers are so young and raw that ESPN has no photo for them:



Did ESPN really have to use a black silhouette? It just screams "witness protection program." Or, "please avert your eyes!"