Posted 11:42 AM by Floyd

LaTroy Hawkins: Secret Agent Man

I love LaTroy Hawkins, a Chicago Cubs setup man who's on my fantasy team. He's pitched 10 2/3 innings and has generated a save and a win (though curiously, no holds). He has 11 strikeouts and a nice low ERA (2.53) and WHIP (0.94).

However my admiration for Hawkins did not reach hero-worship status until last night, when he walked in the winning run in a game against St. Louis. Yes, you read that right. He blew a game, and I love him.

After collecting my team's stats from web box scores, I turned on ESPN SportsCenter. Mostly I wanted to see Erubiel Durrazzo, who hit two home runs against the Petrograd Devil Rays and also played a nice trump squeeze to make six spades. At some point the Cubs-Redbirds game was highlighted, and I watched as various Cubs pitchers struggled in the ninth inning. Finally Hawkins issued a bases-loaded walk to lose the game.

I was mortified. Another loss from a reliever! I already have four losses from setup man Luis Ayala, and I can't take any more reliever losses. I ran back to the computer to check Hawkins' stats. I went to the ESPN scoreboard and scrolled down to the Cubs-Cardinals game. The summary listed Farnsworth as taking the loss. Crap, I thought to myself, ESPN got it wrong and Hawkins took a loss that I didn't know about. I clicked on the Game Log, which listed all events in the game.

Sure enough, it was Hawkins who walked in the winning run. But wait a minute ... earned runs are charged to the pitchers who put men on base, not to the pitchers who let them reach home plate. Could the same rule apply to losses? Well, the loss is the stupidest statistic of any human endeavor. Let's check that game log again ...

ST. LOUIS 9TH
-K Farnsworth relieved K Wood.
-Bottom of the 9th inning
-A Pujols walked.
-K Mercker relieved K Farnsworth.
-J Edmonds walked, A Pujols to second.
-L Hawkins relieved K Mercker.
-S Rolen sacrificed to first, A Pujols to third, J Edmonds to second.
-E Renteria intentionally walked.
-R Sanders fouled out to first.
-M Matheny walked, A Pujols scored, J Edmonds to third, E Renteria to second.

So Hawkins could blow Matheny kisses, tell him that he really enjoyed their time together last night, and serve up a 60-MPH batting practice pitch that Matheny would blast to Cairo, Illinois. Or he could decide that a fly buzzing around home plate is quite bothersome, and throw four pitches that were a yard outside the strike zone. It's Kyle Farnsworth's problem.

Once I realized this, I immediately went to our fantasy league website to see if Farnsworth is one of my opponents' problems. Turns out Farnsworth belongs to my friend Eric.

"To leave a message for Eric, press * 3."

* 3

"Hey Eric, it's Floyd. I need to taunt you. Please call me back."

Posted 11:10 PM by Floyd

Via Michael Totten's page I came across LA journalist Marc Cooper's excellent blog. One of his posts advocated the return of the draft:

In the fall of 2001 as the war in Afghanistan was getting underway I wrote a column proposing we reconsider a draft – but this time with NO deferments or exemptions. Some friends thought I was being ironic. I wasn’t:

"For three years, in the late ’60s, I actively and successfully resisted the draft without ever securing a student deferment. I spent two summers working as a volunteer "counselor," advising my peers how to similarly dodge the call-up for Vietnam. But as I — and millions of others — resisted, our call was clear: Stop the draft. Stop the war. I can’t recall anyone demanding the draft be ended but the war continued.

The draft became the ultimate, popular and democratic governor on the war policies of the state. When a consensus among the American people prevailed that the Vietnam War was a noble and honorable endeavor, the draft functioned without a glitch. When that consensus collapsed, so did the system of military call-up. And with American youth in rebellion, inside and outside the armed forces, the butchery in Vietnam was called to a halt."

I have come across this idea before: Institute a draft so that every American is at risk of being shipped off to Iraq -- or being the relative or loved one of a draftee. Then the people will oppose the war.

But this is an illusion, borne of the aging liberal's habit of treating any military action as a reoccurence of Vietnam. The days when America would conscript hundreds of thousands of young men and hurl them at Communist armies are over. Today's armed forces use relatively small amounts of highly trained professionals, and back them up with overwhelming technology and airpower. The army has no use for masses of poorly trained draftees, and even if a draft were instituted would not use them for anything important. Draftees would be faced not with the possibility of death in the Iraqi desert or Afghan mountains, but rather with boring garrison duty in Korea or Europe.

Posted 11:32 AM by Floyd

Stupid baseball statistics, 4/29 edition

Take a look at these two pitching lines from yesterday:

Pitcher #1: 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 2H, 0 BB, 0 SO
Pitcher #2: 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 2H, 1 BB, 0 SO

What do you think about these performances? Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that they're not very good. A run in two-thirds of an inning? Both pitchers have a 13.5 ERA. #1 has a WHIP (walks and hits per innings pitched) of 3, #2 has a 4.5. These are awful numbers.

But neither pitching performance is particularly meaningful. There are 27 outs in a game and each pitcher contributed two of them. Giving up one run is not the end of the world.

Which pitcher did better? Obviously #1, who gave up one fewer walk. But he was charged with a loss, while pitcher #2 earned a win!

Both players are on my fantasy team. Pitcher #1 is Luis Ayala, who toils for the Montreal/San Juan Expos -- an apt nickname, as the Expos are owned by Major League Baseball and functions as an exhibition team that will never be allowed to win. He pitched the final 2/3 inning of the Expos - Padres game. Ayala was one of five Expos pitchers, and followed two other pitchers who each gave up a run -- Beltran got no outs, while Cordero got one out. So Ayala did better than either of these guys, but he happened to be on the mound when the Expos gave up the lead, so he picked up the loss.

Meanwhile, pitcher #2, LaTroy Hawkins, pitched the final two-thirds of the eighth inning. He was also one of five pitchers. Greg Maddux pitched six innings of two-run ball, but Hawkins' 13.5 ERA performance netted him the win, because the inning after he sat down the Cubs scored the go-ahead run.

The win (and conversely the loss) is the stupidest statistic of any human endeavor.

Posted 11:19 AM by Floyd

Nonsense from the San Jose Mercury News letters page:

Attack on Kerry is unwarranted

There seems to be a drive to discredit Sen. John Kerry's war record.

If someone wants to challenge his three Purple Hearts and his Bronze and Silver Stars, the challenger should display four Purple Hearts and a Medal of Honor.

I served during the Korean War, but I was never sent into combat. I have the highest respect for any person who went into battle and survived.

Reginald Jensen
San Jose

If someone wants to challenge a German chancellor who was wounded in combat and holds an Iron Cross Second Class, the challenger should display his war wounds and an Iron Cross First Class.

Posted 11:33 PM by Floyd

Last November I rambled on about Civilization, which I discovered about a decade after the computer gaming community. Evan Kirchhoff taunted me thus:

Dude, I have to tell you, not only is there Breakout, but these days there is in fact Super Breakout. Multi-paddle action, no lie!!

There is Breakout. Oh yes:



(Note that Atari now owns the company that produces Civilization.)